Sex with Robots

“Are you compensating for something?”
She said while looking at his pimped out four-wheel drive truck. It’s a fair question. It’s not uncommon for humans to artificially aggrandize themselves when they feel “lacking” in some other department. In fact, our popular culture is somewhat of a looking glass into those parts of our soul we feel most lacking in. Our stories are riddled with exaggerations that give us profound insight into the male and female psyche. By popular culture I mean those films, musical, written and pictorial works that sell the most. The audio/visual content that humans are consuming the most. For the sake of argument, think of these as junk food for the brain.

For instance, it’s not a coincidence that as humans in the west have become more and more sedated, peaceful, insular and indoorsy, that much of our entertainment features incredible violent fantastical interplanetary adventures. We consume what we crave.   This is perhaps why we also see so much sexuality, even depravity flaunted before our eyes when flipping through channels. What this tells me is that most people are probably also sexually starved but compelled to pretend otherwise. Which is really a shame, don’t you think?

If you look through media with this lens you’ll find a lot of areas worth studying. Our complex with heroes, villains, fascination with romance and reality shows. But of all these spiritual cravings, I’d like to focus on sex for now. Surprise, I know.

So what is sex? Sex is one of the most consequential powers of the human race. It can be responsible for creating life and yet it can transform, even destroy entire civilizations if it’s not carried out responsibly. As such, I believe sex is to be treated with respect. Unfortunately, instead, many still find themselves frowning on sex and seeing it as something to be kept hidden from discourse. Given some of the traumas I’ve discussed in earlier entries, this is understandable. But it is not healthy. On the other hand, trivializing sex, would be the opposite extreme and perhaps even more harmful to society.

Maybe this repression comes from our inability to properly verbalize our thoughts; a lack of vocabulary, perhaps, that keeps us so silent on the matter. Of course, the more silent we remain, the more uncertain we are of what others think on the subject and further stigmatized we feel for our own views we keep tucked away in our heart. This is how silence feeds-in on itself, and distorts truthfulness, like a black hole traps light.

After all, isn’t it sex what we owe our very existence to? Let’s face it, even if you believe in a creator, you still have to admit you came out of your mother nine months or so after one of her eggs was conceived by your father’s sperm. And so too was the case for your grandfather, and your great grandmother and her great grandfather, and so on and so forth. OK, maybe hundreds of generations ago there was such a couple named Adam and Eve fashioned by a creator, out of clay. But whether that’s true or not is inconsequential to my argument. Everyone agrees you came out of a mother’s womb, from two people having sex. You and every single person you see and know, knew or will come to know has been the product of at least one orgasm. Nobody disagrees with this!

Why would something so common and integral to our existence also be so taboo?  I struggle with finding the answer. But I swear, if this persists, sex will one day be outlawed. It sounds silly but sex is, after all, the one human activity that by all measures discriminates the most. And given humans are rapidly embracing a toxic social paradigm that stigmatizes discrimination, it’s not a stretch to imagine the practice of sex requiring certain government issued licenses to limit its practice within the next few years.

Yes it’s true, when having sex, humans discriminate by almost every single measure you can think of. By race, by economic status, by gender, by beauty, by height, by strength, and literally countless other measures. I know, because nobody feels more discriminated against sexually than men. In fact, if men had beat feminist to a movement of entitlement, it would have been called meninism and championed sex as a human right requiring that women never turn a man down for sex. You laugh, but almost the same thing was law and commonplace during large portions of the Middle Ages and Renaissance due to Jewish and Islamic laws prevailing at the time. Although it wasn’t a guarantee for men, it was a guarantee for women. It was known as a wife’s “right to fulfillment.” In fact, she could take her husband to court and have grounds by which to divorce him if he didn’t satisfy her sexual needs. Yes, hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago depending on the historian you ask.

In the end, we all need to get real about sex. And understand that it’s a kind of appetite that is one part physical and one part spiritual. When it’s satisfied, you don’t want it, but inevitably, the appetite returns and wants to be satisfied again. It never ends. Marriage, of course, is the best institution within which to practice sex. It’s safe, predictable and you get to practice what pleases your partner most. But eventually most marriages run dry. I remember hearing my parents having sex when I was a kid (thin walls). But as time went on, the frequency faded. And for a time they would only have sex once a year on their anniversary but eventually even that ended. For most couples, it’s the having of children that triggers the end of their sex life. Some would argue, that masturbation would naturally follow as a solution. But in the realm of sex, it’s women that find men easily replaceable with vibrating battery powered machines. For men, the sex impulse has far more to do with a spiritual connection with another human being. Most men lack the vocabulary or self-knowledge to properly express this, but it’s true. That’s why vibrators sell far more than flashlights. So even in the realm of sex toys, women outspend men.

If you read my post on  Sexual Fluidity and the Male G-spot, it should also come to you as no surprise, that the more heterosexual men are deprived of sex, the more they will seek it out from other men. And perhaps why homosexuality is, statistically, on the rise in western countries. The validation that a man gets from another human allowing themselves to be intimate with you is incredibly powerful to a man. A spiritual experience, of sorts. And gay men, of course, both share the exact same sexual drive and temperament which is why homosexual couples are far more likely to maintain a highly active sex life but also largely why they are less likely to remain monogamous.

The subject is far too deep to get into fully within just one entry, but I hope to elucidate on this further with future blog posts.  If we don’t learn how to talk about it, we are bound to end up in a sick dystopia like those dreamed up by the likes of modern day science fiction authors and filmmakers where children are grown in chambers and raised by the robots that birth them.

I for one, don’t want to see love outlawed, do you?

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Is Diversity Really A Strength?

Diversity is a strength… or rather, it could be. Unfortunately, in this multicultural experiment  that is the United States, diversity has far too often become a source of enmity and division. And I would argue that it is in no small part due to government intrusion and the way media portrays people of different races and cultures.

The government divides us by giving groups their names, and pretending to champion this or that community, only to give them their own check-box on a form that we’re all forced to fill out. It’s a form of voter management and amassing collective followings by stoking the flames of tribal grievances.

The media then divides us further by amplifying stereotypes until the viewer finds it impossible to divorce an association between a given race or culture and a set of objectionable behaviors.

It’s as if the story put forth is more often about how our differences clash, rather than focusing on how that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The political “Left” have been, by far, the worst offenders, in this regard; despite their moral-posturing to the contrary for they even find it hateful to admire and adopt cultural differences shared by others by calling it “appropriation.”

It is tragic, because it didn’t have to be this way. See, I would like to propose a paradigm shift to how we view our differences. And the beauty of it is that everyone, no matter their race or religion, could adopt this view with very limited effort. It goes something like this:

Take pride in yourself, and everything that you are
And admire and love others for everything that they are.

Allow yourself to become intrigued by how different people like to dress, speak, the way they dance, the prayers they invoke, the things that interest them and so on. If you can appreciate the diversity of music found around the world or the international food options in the heart of the city, there is really no reason you couldn’t appreciate the people, who’s very hands and voices craft these things you savor and enjoy.

Spend time in their shoes, in their clothes. Associate with them, learn their ways and try their experience on for size. And let them learn from you in the same way.
No! our differences are not sacrosanct.

Our differences are to be shared, enjoyed and savored, just like food and music. These are the colors and scents that make the garden of humanity so beautiful and it could take center stage right here in America, if only you let it.

Think about it, all you have to do is shed the fear that’s been impressed upon your mind through countless years of propaganda and stop viewing people that are different than you as threats. Sure, there are bad people out in the world, but the chances of them being near you are highly unlikely. Most people are simply trying to get by in life, just like you. And guess what, they’re probably afraid of you too.

I think it’s crucial that this paradigm shift take place, especially in America, because if it doesn’t, it will be very easy to tear apart the fabric that is our poorly quilted society. On the other hand, if we do figure this out, it will be absolutely impossible to ever break us apart and no nation will ever be able to compete with us, divide us or conquer us, even our own.

Diversity may not be our strength now, but we can certainly make it so.

The Great Phallusy

Despite not having owned a television for more than a decade, I still find ways of paying attention to prevailing views among popular culture. A mistake, really, because it’s often only to find myself distraught by the countless lies that prevail on mainstream television and news. It’s frightening because so many people, I know, view their messages as gospel. I often recall the stories about illiteracy being commonplace during the Middle Ages and how clergy were the only vehicle by which the commoner could gain access to biblical stories. Or how secret letters could make safe passage on long journeys between kingdoms without there ever being fear that they could be read. The technology that was literacy was kept secret for centuries as a source of power. A way by which the ruling classes could keep others only aware of the things that suited them for their citizens to know.

But now that literacy is commonplace, it is knowledge and truth itself that has become obscured or controlled.  Modern day media has become the vehicle by which consensus is built among the populace to further agendas that suit those in control. Propaganda, is a common word used to describe it, but rather limited way of doing so, in my opinion. Sexuality is one of many topics that has become severely obscured over recent decades.  And whenever there is obscurity,  there is absence of truth or transparency.  And the more obscure we become as a society, so too will become our actions.

The topics affected by this phenomena are too countless to go over but since this blog post is about sexuality,  I’ll focus on the misconceptions put forth on penis size for this post.  Because let’s face it, the fate of civilization rests on you knowing the answers about men’s phallus.

All joking aside, the nature of the male penis (because apparently there are female penises now) is perhaps the aspect of male sexuality that has, indeed, been most misconstrued; the consequences of which have made men far more self-consciousness about their bodies than women.  Hard to believe, but it’s true.  While men and women are both held to high beauty standards, men have the additional insecurities of muscular development, material wealth, social status and sexual prowess.  All of which are almost impossible to achieve in concert, unless you’re fictional movie character.

And as if this was not difficult enough, the female thesis on penises is completely incorrect.  For instance, women actually think that men have defined penis sizes; thinking that some have been blessed with large ones, while most men have normal sized and a smaller segment have been cursed with microscopic penises. What they don’t realize, however, is that a man with a large penis can also have a micro penis, depending on when you look over the course of a day or week. Yes, it’s true. The penis changes size. And I’m not talking about erections.
The fact of the matter is, the male penis changes as much as his testicles. Sometimes it’s contracted and other times it’s relaxed. As to what causes these penile mood swings, I’m uncertain. Temperature is known to be one factor, but I believe stress, energy levels, diet, mood, hydration, clothing, postures, and perhaps dozens of other factors have an effect as well.  Some days are just better than others. We hear women talk about having good and bad hair days, for instance. The same is true about male penises.

A friend of mine had one such bad penis day on what was, perhaps, the most inopportune time in his life.  He was a life drawing model and it was then upon standing up on a stage in front of artists that this happened. Upon removing his clothes behind the changing curtain, he was met with the unpleasant surprise that he was having a bad penis day.  He told me he shook it in an attempt to wake it up.  But it was curled up inside like a snail fearing for its life. He was distraught! Nevertheless he embraced his tater tot and walked out, in all his naked glorylessness.  As luck would have it, it was a record showing of artists that day and a surprisingly large contingent of cute women.  He told me he could see them giggling to themselves as they drew me.  This memory still seems to haunt him.

It’s made me ponder and realize that it is probably precisely because of these misunderstandings about the male penis, that men, upon having a good penis-day, feel compelled to take a picture and share it with a girl they’d like to impress. And why there seems to be an epidemic of dick pics spreading across women’s phones.   I’d much rather we stop obscuring the truth about things, so we can start focusing our attention on things that matter more than penis size, hence I’ve written this entry.

The White Knight

As popular culture continues to portray androgynous women as heroes and effeminate men as their counter parts, we are beginning to see the effects and reflections of an emergent asexual and homosexual western society.

As female preferences have become increasingly pandered to<!–more–>in politics, the desires for a male to be a provider have been diminished. Women can now easily leverage legislation for aid and let schools rear their children, rendering the father, by and large, obsolete. In addition, western women, have for decades been selecting their males. Given the aforementioned, the men that are picked, are not the providers, but of a different stock altogether. Some of these include the likes of white knights and needy men.

As I’ve mentioned in past essays, there is a distinct cultural reproductive difference between the east and the west. That is, that in the West, women select their men and in the East men select their women. Consequently, some men of the West developed white-knighting as an evolutionary method by which to bed women. This method involves posturing agreement with females and always coming to their emotional aid, regardless of reason. “Yes-men” are similar in business. These are employees that will simply follow orders and not ask questions. These individuals certainly have their place in organizations, but if it is comprised entirely of them, it is bound to collapse under its own weight. A society of yes-fathers will, likewise, also collapse like the hollowing out of branches from termites that live within.

Just like nature can render selected the most adaptable species, so too can legislation select the most adaptable citizen.

Another adaptation that formed among the male species is that of the “needy man.” We could also refer to them as “fixer-uppers.” These, emotionally manipulate their way to sex and advance themselves in the reproductive chain by using women’s natural tendencies to be sympathetic and charitable to those in need.

Contrast all this with the East, where men have not been softened by the female selective hand. We see, there, emerging cultures of rape, misogyny, polygamy, legalized wife beating and the like. And in parts of Africa, entire segments of society of fatherless children; a condition now being encouraged by aid that targets single mothers and thus encourages them to extricate fathers. Similarly over 80% of children in Colombia are now born out of wedlock. This rate climbed immediately after laws were passed that provided financial incentives to women with children. We see this happening in the US already, where women have been caught taking swabs of their man’s sperm immediately after having protected sex, and then inserting it to impregnate themselves so they could qualify for the financial benefits. Humans, are creatures largely driven by incentives, and will therefore allow themselves to flow toward goods that satisfy them in the moment, without ever taking into consideration the long term and generational side-effects.

Both East and West cultures are suffering from a toxic imbalance. In the West, white knights are bringing forth the cultural nocturne that is about to befall us. A time so dark it may never be followed by a western day. A time so stricken from love, all we’ve built may turn to the beating ground of eastern armies.

What these things teach us, is that if we choose to legislate love and relationships, we must do so with extreme caution. For these will inevitably have long term evolutionary impacts. One criterion is clear; that is, that the providing of incentives and rewards should never be done without there being an equal balance of merit. Avoiding this simple rule, will lead to a failed-to-launch generation of grown child-like men and women.

Pick your men wisely ladies. A good first rule is to find one that had or has a good father.

Abortion

If the abortion is being performed merely because having the child would be an inconvenience to the mother, yes, it’s murder. Cold blooded, heartless murder.  Unfortunately, many western women will never agree with me on this.  So what I’m about to say may challenge your views on the matter, and if for no other reason than to expand your perspective on this subject, I suggest you keep reading.

The reason pro-lifers have lost this debate and will never win it, is because the intellects of westerners have been impregnated with the idea that a fetus is no different than a mother’s organ. It was an idea manufactured through clever use of language that was repeated over and over again. It created an association between the child and the mother’s body and, as such, her property.

Furthermore, the child was portrayed, repeatedly, as a burden and not a blessing. Even child-rearing has been frowned upon. Worse still, women that choose to stay at home and mother their children, have been culturally and socially ostracized from mainstream popular views. Both of these are profound and hideous sins of the western intellect. A virus of ideas that has infected the soul of so many. I’ve witnessed this in my own wife. She has often verbalized how much she dislikes work but feels the social pressure to continue doing so, so that other women don’t see her as a loser. The cultural programming has been so strong, that not even during our near twenty years of marriage have I been able to convince her to stay home and focus on the children. Yes, it’s always been my preference, but I respected her choice early on and never pressed the matter.

What is perhaps even worse, however, if not equally evil, is the assumption that fathers don’t care about their child to be. So much so that the term “pro-choice” doesn’t really involve the father’s choice. Should really be called “pro-woman-choice”. That would, at least, be accurate.

I mean, of course, it’s only the mother’s choice, why would the father care! It’s not his body we’re talking about!”

…she said to me once.   As a man, (and you women out there must hear this) Statements like these are profoundly offensive, troubling, and still, to this day, provokes, in me, a deep, dark and rank disgust in the pit of my stomach towards anyone that utters such words. How dare you make such a claim!  And the hypocrisy! Could it be any more blatant?! A mother can choose to kill her child without consulting the father but if she chooses not to, she can snap her fingers to get a restraining order for the father and expect him to pay her bills and be forbidden access to his children.    So if you want to kill the child, it’s not the father’s business. But if you want to keep the child, then it is his business.
It’s in that last sentence that you can witness the rank hypocrisy and absolute lack of consistency in these arguments. But worse yet, the assumption appears to be that a father only cares about the bills associated with a child and not the child itself. God, please let them dwell in the fires of hell for an eternity as punishment for telling boys that this is who they are!

We are living during a time of ego-centrism. Largely dominated by self-proclaimed victim-classes that push agendas and legislation to their benefit under the guise of solidarity.  No longer does consistency and reason rule our laws, but only what benefits the mobs that craft them.  The assumption that a father only cares about his children if they are alive but not if you are about to kill them, is so deeply offensive, toxic, and clearly inconsistent, it boggles the mind. How can you not see this! How can you live with yourself making such claims!  How can you teach our boys to believe this and condition them to view themselves as merely disposable objects and drive them to drugs and suicide thanks to your decisions and your abuses!

How can you continue teaching your sons these horrible lies and ideas about fatherhood? Imagine growing up as a boy being told:

“you are a monster because you’re a boy”

and then when they grow up to be that monster, you expect them to turn out any better?  YOU are the MONSTER!  Use some third level thinking and place yourself in his shoes for one moment.

Woman, give me the child, I will raise him before you poison his mind. Oh and by the way, get to work because I need $1,000 a month, presto. Otherwise, I’ll press charges and you’ll go to prison. Go on, get a job bitch, I’ve got your child to raise. No, you can’t see them… ever.”

Now ask yourself, how does that feel?

Is this the norm you want to teach our sons and daughters?

But it is too late. Look at the generation you have wrought. An entire generation of lost men, displaced by drugs, hedonism, video games and empty pleasures. And yet you take offense by a man spreading his legs on a bus.

Addicted beCause

The traumas of tribalism are with us to this very day. Politics, religion, sports, whenever there’s a paradigm presented with “sides” it inevitably creates the gravity-well that drives people apart into dark corners tugging at their heart strings.

Be it the vicious cycle of husbands abusing their wives or mothers and teachers assailing or verbally assaulting little boys, it is evident we continue to perpetuate the echoes of traumatic past events. And even for those few<!–more–> of us whom have managed to escape its clutches, the fact remains, we have all, at one time or another, fallen prey to the suggestions that we, ourselves, are <i>othered</i></em> in some way.

In fact, the attraction to this state of mind is so alluring and intoxicating, that in its absence we’ll even fabricate it out of fear of its absence. For without this anchor we’d feel as if lost in an ocean. In a sick way, we seem addicted to it; addicted to the presence of a clan. It’s telling, that during a time in western society, when men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes, despite being more privileged than ever before in the entire history of humanity, have all been able to fabricate the most varied and ludicrous things to complain about.

One empty cause after another giving people their “side” their “team” their “movement” their reason to live, to breath and exist. Here’s a label for you and for me, for him and for her, for us and for them. If Oprah ever ran for president her campaign slogan would go: “you get victim card, you get a grievance card, you get an ostracized card, you get a race card, you get a sex card, you get  … well, you get the picture. We carry these cards proudly on our brow for everyone to see. But I have news for you. There is no end to this mania. We could mix for thousands of years until only tan-colored skin remained and we’d find eye color to peer suspiciously about. We could extricate all iris hues through eugenics until only brown remained and we’d tug on hair color. We could vilify blond people until only black hair remained and yet we’d then find ourselves emotionally entangled about curls and straight hair. We could keep going and going until making ourselves so allergic to our very own humanity that even the pace of our hearts would be placed under scrutiny and nobody would be happy until we removed our bodies and replaced them with robots, at which point we’d fight about the manufacturers and ways in which our limbs were welded. This sick obsession with difference must stop! Love your differences for God’s sake!

Why must we fabricate these trials and force ourselves into a state of concern or objection to something?

But without my cause what will I fight for?

Your sick and morbid attachment to oppression is what oppresses you. You must fight to dispel this curse. Fight to stop the cycle. Don’t march along with it. Stand your ground. Care for yourself and those around you. Grow your roots. Be an adult and don’t ask the government to look after you. Till your soil while you are still allowed to have some. And bear good fruits! Look at others with love, not with hate. Snap your fingers and break the hypnosis.

Awaken, before it’s too late!

Your life’s purpose

What do I want? What do you want?

As much as I can attempt to describe broadly and vaguely what men and women want, there is really no way anyone could answer the question of individual wants and desires. At least it is certainly nobody’s place to define them for you. But there are still many things that can be said of it, so I’ll attempt to do so while explaining my own wants and desires.

I have noticed that the times I am most happy and joyful are those instances where I’ve made others happy, in particular women. And the times that I am saddest and most distraught are when my words or actions have been the cause of affliction to others, in particular women. Sometimes even longing for my own death. This axis of joy and sadness defines very much who I am as a person and it is this joy/sadness axis that we all need to discover for ourselves. You know you may have found one, when the one thing that brings you extreme joy is the same thing that brings you extreme sadness in its absence or opposite state.

The truest of these (to you) is the one that does not behave like a pendulum; but rather like a vector. In other words, it must be possible to have more of the positive without needing an equal amount of the negative. Otherwise, there would be no progress in life. No forward movement. Your mind, body and soul form the unique catalyst to one or more vectors and this underscores why it’s important for everyone to find what makes them happy. We can, of course, have many of these axis of joy and sadness, but there is one that brings you the most joy without requiring the opposite of sadness. This is what we each must discover on our own.

To do so you must trust yourself and be open to the possibility that the answer is living and possibly changing over time. Maybe right now, you feel that money will make you happy. That’s fine. Pursue money. See how far you can go with those winds blowing on your sails. Be as joyful and thankful as you can with every coin you place in your purse. But if you feel equally profound sadness every time you lose it, as one must, then you know you need to keep looking. But let it fuel your journey. Set your sights on the horizon, and not on the wind blowing on your sails. Explore this expansive world of opportunity that life has presented before you and discover who you are. Don’t be afraid of her. Be anxiously seeking her out. Once you find more vectors of joy, explore them all fully and see how far those winds take you. Try as best you can to shed any vectors that push you in the opposite direction. Joy is forward. Suffering is backwards. It doesn’t mean we can’t feel sadness, but it must never be such that it impedes your progress forward or clouds your happiness.

Certainly, this subject extends beyond the scope of the individual, for we could ask the same questions about a family, a community, a city, a country and a world. But to quote Mr Mehdi:
Help those within arm’s reach, and the whole world will be in good hands.”
So my advice is to help yourself and those around you. If I am within your arm’s reach and I can help you on this journey, know that I will be joyful beyond imagining to do so.

People often ask:

What is the meaning of life?

But the real question should be, “what is the meaning of my life?” The answer is often evident after a person is gone, for it is only in their absence that we see the void they have left in our life and heart. But why wait till then?

Godspeed, angel. Your purpose is great. And greatness is not measured with money, it’s measured by the joy you bring to yourself and others. I hope I brought you joy tonight. It may have seemed selfless, but your smile filled my heart tenfold.

Why men fail to woo women

Cat calling, whistling, “Hey baby” “Hey beautiful!”  These are not uncommon methods by which men attempt to attract a female. They are of course among the most moronic ideas ever produced by men, second only to dick pics, perhaps. But it’s understandable behavior as I’ll make plain to you here in this brief composition.

In one of my most recent posts about what women want I concluded that men want women, yes. And that women don’t really want men, but rather, what men can provide them.   It’s an important distinction and one we must understand in order to decrypt some of the asinine behaviors we observe in the modern-day man.

While it’s certainly the case that men don’t know women or have any clue of what women want, they have yet an inkling of what they want themselves. They want women.  Men know this about themselves. They are fascinated by a woman’s beauty, her form, her voice, her hair, the way she walks and smells.  In fact, men have only two criteria that makes them attracted to a woman:

1) Good health and

2) Fertility.

Now, whether or not that attraction merits more than ogling, is up to each to determine.  But it’s largely why your boyfriend is always looking at other women when you take him to the mall. Almost all women under fifty and over twenty-one meet a man’s criteria for a mate as long as she’s not visibly unhealthy.  A man will practically throw himself in front of a bus to save any such women if she shows him any signs of interest. Desperation, is a cruel word to use, but is accurate nonetheless.  After all, men don’t pick mates in western societies; women do.  This is quite different from eastern polygamous societies where women are often sold into marriages or selected-out by the men. You can derive many conclusions about modern male and female behaviors based on this single cultural difference but I’ll leave that analysis for a future blog post.

Ok, back to the subject of men’s idiocy when it comes to wooing women.  So why do they suck at it? Well, it’s simple. Since men don’t know women, they assume women are just like them.  Men actually think that women think just like they do and so they behave exactly the way they would want a woman to behave with them.  See, men actually believe, in some fantasy hidden in the depths of their brain, that a woman might someday try to woo him. And the way that fantasy plays out is that a woman comes up to him and compliments him on his choice of clothing, his body, or how handsome he is, how she likes his dance moves, etc.  Even though this has never happened in the history of humanity (hyperbole), men still have this idiotic fantasy that a woman might come onto him by whistling or cat calling him.   You might laugh, but the truth is, this is perhaps the highest compliment a man could ever receive.  It never happens, of course, which is probably why men commit suicide at record rates, but go ahead and try it. Whistle at a man and watch the awkward smile sneak up on his face as he drives away with a dim-witted self aggrandized sense of himself.

So you see, the reason men whistle at you is because they want to be nice. There are always those of course, that do it repeatedly to posture themselves besides other men, like construction workers do as a way of having fun.  But the honest truth is, if you were to do the same with a man,  his ego would become as erected as Trump’s towers. You’d have him looped around your little finger and could command him at will.  It really goes to show how admirable so many women are, for it would be so easy for any of them to take advantage of a man, and yet they don’t. Certainly there are many that do, but most women don’t and I often admire that about them. It just goes to show how much more spiritually mature and disciplined they are when it comes to finding a mate.

This is, perhaps, why male and female friendships can become so complicated. A man feels charged up inside when he’s in the company of almost any woman that meets these two criteria.  And within those circumstances, a man’s natural inclination is to find within him a desire to reciprocate how good her company makes him feel.  Men, because they only know themselves, incorrectly assume that the best way to show affection is the same way he would like to receive it, physically.  But since culturally, physical affection is coupled with (and within it implied) something beyond friendship, this becomes problematic when framing relationships within an “either” “or” paradigm which may be, in and of itself, faulty or, at the very least, incomplete. But that’s a subject for another time. In other words, this impulse may not be entirely out of carnal desire but, rather, out of love.   In fact, the impulse might even be there, even if the man was not physically attracted to the woman (remember, fertility and health).    I will say this about men, however. They do show excellent judgement when paying for dinner, over-tipping women in services,  opening doors, or offering a woman his seating place if she’s standing on the bus.   These are clearly driven by a subconscious understanding of what women want from a man for they clearly have no interest in receiving these favors from women, themselves.

The bottom line is that men often make the mistaken assumption that women want exactly the same thing they want. But this is obviously not the case.  I believe what is lacking, is a greater vocabulary among men for expressing love. And for men to understand that while they can give physical affection freely and indiscriminately, a woman’s desire for affection is very selective and reserved only for “the one”.  Let me be clear about something though. Women are terrible at wooing men also, but I’ll leave that for a future blog post because, in fact, they used to be masters at it and maybe how they got their name, Wooman.