“Are you compensating for something?”
She said while looking at his pimped out four-wheel drive truck. It’s a fair question. It’s not uncommon for humans to artificially aggrandize themselves when they feel “lacking” in some other department. In fact, our popular culture is somewhat of a looking glass into those parts of our soul we feel most lacking in. Our stories are riddled with exaggerations that give us profound insight into the male and female psyche. By popular culture I mean those films, musical, written and pictorial works that sell the most. The audio/visual content that humans are consuming the most. For the sake of argument, think of these as junk food for the brain.
For instance, it’s not a coincidence that as humans in the west have become more and more sedated, peaceful, insular and indoorsy, that much of our entertainment features incredible violent fantastical interplanetary adventures. We consume what we crave. This is perhaps why we also see so much sexuality, even depravity flaunted before our eyes when flipping through channels. What this tells me is that most people are probably also sexually starved but compelled to pretend otherwise. Which is really a shame, don’t you think?
If you look through media with this lens you’ll find a lot of areas worth studying. Our complex with heroes, villains, fascination with romance and reality shows. But of all these spiritual cravings, I’d like to focus on sex for now. Surprise, I know.
So what is sex? Sex is one of the most consequential powers of the human race. It can be responsible for creating life and yet it can transform, even destroy entire civilizations if it’s not carried out responsibly. As such, I believe sex is to be treated with respect. Unfortunately, instead, many still find themselves frowning on sex and seeing it as something to be kept hidden from discourse. Given some of the traumas I’ve discussed in earlier entries, this is understandable. But it is not healthy. On the other hand, trivializing sex, would be the opposite extreme and perhaps even more harmful to society.
Maybe this repression comes from our inability to properly verbalize our thoughts; a lack of vocabulary, perhaps, that keeps us so silent on the matter. Of course, the more silent we remain, the more uncertain we are of what others think on the subject and further stigmatized we feel for our own views we keep tucked away in our heart. This is how silence feeds-in on itself, and distorts truthfulness, like a black hole traps light.
After all, isn’t it sex what we owe our very existence to? Let’s face it, even if you believe in a creator, you still have to admit you came out of your mother nine months or so after one of her eggs was conceived by your father’s sperm. And so too was the case for your grandfather, and your great grandmother and her great grandfather, and so on and so forth. OK, maybe hundreds of generations ago there was such a couple named Adam and Eve fashioned by a creator, out of clay. But whether that’s true or not is inconsequential to my argument. Everyone agrees you came out of a mother’s womb, from two people having sex. You and every single person you see and know, knew or will come to know has been the product of at least one orgasm. Nobody disagrees with this!
Why would something so common and integral to our existence also be so taboo? I struggle with finding the answer. But I swear, if this persists, sex will one day be outlawed. It sounds silly but sex is, after all, the one human activity that by all measures discriminates the most. And given humans are rapidly embracing a toxic social paradigm that stigmatizes discrimination, it’s not a stretch to imagine the practice of sex requiring certain government issued licenses to limit its practice within the next few years.
Yes it’s true, when having sex, humans discriminate by almost every single measure you can think of. By race, by economic status, by gender, by beauty, by height, by strength, and literally countless other measures. I know, because nobody feels more discriminated against sexually than men. In fact, if men had beat feminist to a movement of entitlement, it would have been called meninism and championed sex as a human right requiring that women never turn a man down for sex. You laugh, but almost the same thing was law and commonplace during large portions of the Middle Ages and Renaissance due to Jewish and Islamic laws prevailing at the time. Although it wasn’t a guarantee for men, it was a guarantee for women. It was known as a wife’s “right to fulfillment.” In fact, she could take her husband to court and have grounds by which to divorce him if he didn’t satisfy her sexual needs. Yes, hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago depending on the historian you ask.
In the end, we all need to get real about sex. And understand that it’s a kind of appetite that is one part physical and one part spiritual. When it’s satisfied, you don’t want it, but inevitably, the appetite returns and wants to be satisfied again. It never ends. Marriage, of course, is the best institution within which to practice sex. It’s safe, predictable and you get to practice what pleases your partner most. But eventually most marriages run dry. I remember hearing my parents having sex when I was a kid (thin walls). But as time went on, the frequency faded. And for a time they would only have sex once a year on their anniversary but eventually even that ended. For most couples, it’s the having of children that triggers the end of their sex life. Some would argue, that masturbation would naturally follow as a solution. But in the realm of sex, it’s women that find men easily replaceable with vibrating battery powered machines. For men, the sex impulse has far more to do with a spiritual connection with another human being. Most men lack the vocabulary or self-knowledge to properly express this, but it’s true. That’s why vibrators sell far more than flashlights. So even in the realm of sex toys, women outspend men.
If you read my post on Sexual Fluidity and the Male G-spot, it should also come to you as no surprise, that the more heterosexual men are deprived of sex, the more they will seek it out from other men. And perhaps why homosexuality is, statistically, on the rise in western countries. The validation that a man gets from another human allowing themselves to be intimate with you is incredibly powerful to a man. A spiritual experience, of sorts. And gay men, of course, both share the exact same sexual drive and temperament which is why homosexual couples are far more likely to maintain a highly active sex life but also largely why they are less likely to remain monogamous.
The subject is far too deep to get into fully within just one entry, but I hope to elucidate on this further with future blog posts. If we don’t learn how to talk about it, we are bound to end up in a sick dystopia like those dreamed up by the likes of modern day science fiction authors and filmmakers where children are grown in chambers and raised by the robots that birth them.
I for one, don’t want to see love outlawed, do you?