The psychology of the rebel

It’s typical to see teenagers manifest behaviors where they seek to assert their independence from their parents or any authority figure. And the easiest way of doing so is always through rebellion. In other words, to stand counter to the wishes or expectations of one’s superior.

In a somewhat related tangent: have you noticed that people whom complain about others judging them seem to love engaging in behavior that brings about people’s judgement? So much so that if people didn’t judge them for those behaviors they probably wouldn’t engage in those behaviors to begin with!!

All of these individuals have been classically referred to as rebels and i’d include even naysayers in there as well. This human condition probably dates back millennia, perhaps even back to tribal times.

What’s so predictable of all this behavior is that ultimately it doesn’t matter what the parent (or authority figure) prescribes for the child. If the father was Satan then the youth would want to join a conquest of angels. If the father was Jesus, the youth would want to join Satan’s gang of thugs. It’s more often than not a contrarian’s game, as far as i can tell.

If you’re one such contrarian and wondering which side you’re on and need help identifying between good and evil i would use the following formula: Good wants to increase and better the conditions for human life (and especially for those wishing to do the same) while the other promotes death, human extinction and disease (except for those wishing to do the same). Build and increase vs destroy and reduce. For more on this read my post titled The Final Codification of Good and Evil.

But despite this moral tendency (of good prevailing), it seems that the vehicle of human progress has this slow but constant leak of naysayers and rebels in its engine creating puddles of grimy substances that build up on the ground and get left behind in the dust heap of history – yet humanity carries forward. I don’t think this defect is actually necessary or even consequential and humanity would make far more progress if it weren’t for the engine breaking down every so often due to this stupid leak. Heck, i would wager, that had it not been for these idiots, we’d be terraforming and populating four planets in our solar system by now with a fleet of space miners coming to and from Saturn’s rings and our asteroid belt with ships being deployed weekly. Rather than being stuck on debating whether or not we should go to mars, we could be debating the pros and cons of wormholes to journey into alternate universes. Instead, we’re stuck here as a type zero civilization and potentially only waiting for an exterminating event like a tiny little space pebble hitting our crust.

So why is it? Why does asserting one’s independence have to come coupled with disrupting one’s environment? I think the behavior might date even further back. Perhaps back to when we were protozoa. Like an infant microorganism reaching adolescence and releasing a chemical reaction designed to shake up and stir its environment. A sort of biological clock rigged to vibrate and stir its surroundings. Skip ahead a couple billion years and you’re left with teenage angst as the mammalian evolutionary remnant.

To quote the acclaimed writer Taylor Swift

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

So there you have it. Shake it off you ass holes and get over your hang ups. Humanity needs to get shit done and if you want to make the world a better place, add something to it. Stop focusing on tearing things down. Destruction never built anything. Add your two cents and stop trying to take away someone else’s.

Sex in exchange for validation

Feminism has created such a toxic environment for the male/female dynamic in society that I believe it’s responsible for the skyrocketing rates in female depression and drug consumption (mostly antidepressants).   (Read my post “A feminist guide to a Successful Marriage” to understand one reason why I believe this statement is true).

The movement is perpetually bombarding women with expectations of ways to be that are quite contrary to the way most women feel about themselves. “You must wear a pantsuit and be a power-house executive at a law firm” seems to be the message most girls get these days. But what if most girls want to have babies and raise a family? What about their needs and aspirations? Has feminism ever celebrated them? Oh wait, they do celebrate moms but only when there is no man in the picture (I swear it won’t be long before there’s a single mom’s ‘pride’ parade).

With this level of insecurity placed in the hearts of girls it’s no surprise women are so eager to sleep with any male that will, in exchange, make them feel validated. “Oh look, I made him cum… this means i’m special right?” Wrong! A man can cum in his own hand and the guy you just blowed probably jerks off every night thinking about your best friend. What would make you special is if you understood the sexual power and responsibility you wield in society and how to use it for good by ensuring that only decent, hard-working and committed men get access to it. Women are the gate-keepers for future generations because they get to choose which DNA gets right of passage into the future. At least that’s the case in the West where women get to say yes or no to men. Unlike places in the middle east where women are selected by the men like livestock.

Oh Western woman!! If all you do is sleep around with any guy that can form cohesive sentences, or take a pretty picture of you, then you’re just a loose woman and will become a nesting ground for everything that is wrong in society. Not to mention, you will give men absolutely no incentive to better themselves in order to get access to sex. When women are more disciplined about whom they give themselves too, men become better and more enlightened creatures. It’s well established that women can be and are the greatest moderating influences for men. Absent this, everything will go to hell, i promise.

I think the problem is that women have lost their mojo. They would rather be passive and let a man approach them instead of taking the initiative themselves. But I think it’s time for women to be very deliberate about the men they bring into their lives. They should look long and hard at their options and literally go after the best possible suitor (i.e. the man with the best DNA and most likely to be a comitted father to her children). Women seem eager to be benchwarmers in the sex game and not take any initiative to participate. They are so fucking insecure, they think the really good man out in the field would never be interested in her and so they sit back and wait until the first scoundrel asks her out and end up sleeping with him just to make herself feel loved.

It’s a sad state of affairs. And the thing is, even if you weren’t attractive or smart, in today’s sexual climate, a woman could snag almost any good man if she simply chose to devote herself to him. Yes really. If you went up to a really great guy and said “i want to be your house wife, give you children and take care of the you and the kids for the rest of my life” chances are you could snag ANY great man you wanted. I say “great” because i think most men that are willing and eager to be providers are probably pretty great guys. If, on the other hand the man expects you to go out and work and for him to stay home and play video games, that would be a good example of the opposite and a deadbeat. I’m sure there are exceptions, but this entry is short so I’m sticking to general rules of thumb.

So ladies, if you’re the kind of woman that wants a man that devotes himself to you fully and in exchange you are willing to devote yourself to him fully, then guess what: You can get off your ass right now and snatch almost any great and available man you want.

Principles, do you have them?

What are your principles?

Principles? Sometimes I wonder if i have them. And if so, what they are. Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Maybe write them down before reading this. Really, it might be good to do before letting this influence you.

So do you have’m?

There comes a time in many people’s lives when they realize their chosen brand of ideology has failed them. This includes things like religions, political parties or vapid movements such as (insert your once favorite social cause here).

See, it’s only a matter of time before any movement becomes coopted by those that have the power or desire to rule over others. Once it grows (your movement) to sufficient prominence, it becomes a fishing net that can (and will) be used to guide its followers toward a political brand, party or even just bend its efforts toward a self-serving agenda that aims to pander to the lowest common denominator among its own following (in order to get more donations so that it can grow, build more edifices and purchase bigger jumbotrons). And when that time comes, you will slowly realize that the ideals you once thought your ideology stood for are no longer being upheld by your “tribe”. Instead you find yourself becoming a political tool or puppet of your movement and no longer a champion for any real principles.

This is why it’s always best to adhere to principles and not ideologies. See, I believe principles are the pillars of any civilization. Not religion, not politics, none of those things. If anything, these are merely parasitic ideological megastructures that support themselves by resting atop the floors built for them by a principled civilization. I realize this sounds counter intuitive, but hear me out.

Its true, most people still attribute the rise of civilizations to a particular brand of religion or political structure. But I argue that these come later. If anything, it’s these things that are most often the cause of strife and the severing of civilizations. Religion? Politics? Inner city gangs? Just think of it. It’s only these things that ultimately serve to tear down communities and (if spread) can rent asunder entire nations. Wars aren’t started by principles, they’re started by power hungry leaders that simply appeal to people’s principles in order to justify their own lust for more shit.

When the United States was born, it wasn’t founded on Christianity or by the US senate, but rather a set of principles that included phrases such as “all men are created equal.” They may have been inspired by Christianity, but that’s as far as that went. These principles are like the DNA of civilizations, and a code of ethics, if you will, that form the instructional basis upon which (and through which) is built everything that follows. And it’s the sophistication, elegance and robustness of that “program” that will determine how successful that civilization will be that emerges from it. Slavery was inherited from the East (where it still lives to this day) but it was the US constitution that made it impossible for slavery to persist for very long. Like an antidote that in time would eradicate the poison that came on board the host (look up Arab and African slave trades still existing to this day).

In many ways, the United States is the latest and newest civilization in human history. And also one which devised a set of principes that learned from mistakes made by past civilizations, in particular those  witnessed from the European and monarchic civilizations it fled from. Unfortunately there is no place left to flee and so if we can’t figure things out this time, we’re screwed. And time is running out.

Fortunately people are waking up to this fact (that you can only count on principles and not ideology). But unfortunately, since most have been guided by these ideological movements and for so long, they have no real principles to fall back on now. Instead, most self-guided people are crafting their own principles based solely on whatever encompasses the behavior they want to exhibit on a given day. Consequently, we see emerging a code of ethics that is tribalist in nature and often consists of “loyalty” and nothing else.  In those instances where people are not part of a group they create principles for themselves designed to merely to justify selfish actions. A purely hedonistic and individualistic code that bears no responsibility to others, not even to themselves. It should come as no surprise then that electronic notifications are now the modern currency by which most youth derive a sense of self-worth and validation. “Chaching!” I got a like. “Chaching!” I got a comment. “Chaching!” I got a follower. I’ve even fallen prey to this, so i can understand the endorphin hit that comes from it. Though i’ve also grown somewhat averse to it and to the point that I’ve deleted and renamed this blog twice, whenever i started getting too many readers. Too much attention makes me uncomfortable. In that sense i’m like the opposite of a millennial i guess.

Unfortunately (and as a consequence of this new vapid code of ethics), drug consumption has risen sharply, as have suicides, sexual promiscuity, reports of rape, intoxicated sex, abortions, child abuse and record rates of low job participation among domestic populations. These are clearly the tell tell signs of a civilization that is dissolving at its feet. Fortunately, for the US, it’s been able to attract between 1-2 million hard working immigrants every year into the country (legal and illegal) most of whom come from cultures that still have an intact code of ethics. But the benefits of this only last one generation, as their children will inevitably fall prey to the code in place by the predominant culture they were born in.

In the US, today’s youth would rather live off their mom and dad or suck sustenance off the government teet instead of working hard. In fact, going to school has merely become an excuse to postpone work and often a way to pay living expenses via student loans and access to dormatories. This is why most youth today are economically far better at earning debt than they are at earning an income. Young men have turned to drugs and video games while women have turned to prostitution and escort work (coined as “survival sex” by scum journalism like the huffington post).

Don’t get me wrong, i have nothing against these things, and believe people should be free to do anything they want as long as they are not hurting others in the process. But that means that if someone is say, a parent, certain drugs, and other behaviors, in my opinion, should be illegal for them to engage in. I also believe people should have to take a background check and get a license in order to be allowed to consume alcohol, since irresponsible drinking has caused FAR more deaths than irresponsible gun use. So yeah, most of you would probably not want me as a law maker because my principles would be seen as pretty extreme by most.

Hang on, was that a principle i hold? Freedom is fine as long as you’re not hurting others? And if you’re a parent, you should have fewer freedoms because when you afflict harm on yourself you are, by extension, hurting your children or dependants? It seems like this could get complicated. What about mothers vs fathers? Say if a woman has been awarded such a license (to drink alcohol) should she still be allowed to walk into a bar while pregnant?  Or let’s say that’s fine. But would you frown at a late term woman downing glasses of vodka? And if so, would you frown on her still if she told you “it doesn’t matter because i’ve got an abortion scheduled tomorrow.” I don’t know. i don’t think principles work if they require this much specificity. You end up leaving way too many random scenarios out of your rule book and people ultimately end up finding the loop holes to engage in their preferred behavior regardless.

Dear lord, i just realized something. I started writing about principles and found myself diverted into writing about laws, as if the only way to have principles is to have a code of laws to enforce them. This just goes to show how far i’ve been programmed to think that more government is the only way to solve social problems, when i’ve already explained, how this is completely the opposite of what’s true. More laws just serves to destroy society. We don’t need more laws, we need to agree on a basic set of principles! So again I ask. What are your principles? What are my principles?

Wait a minute. What is a principle? And should they apply to everyone? Or should we discriminate by age? For instance, we don’t allow children to get a drivers license. Are there other freedoms that should be constrained by age? Should a one year old be allowed to crawl their way through the city unsupervised? What freedoms does that same child have before they exit the womb? Does the fetus have a right to live through the birthing process and become a child? Should those that choose to conceive a child get a test beforehand to make sure they’re fit to be parents? Should they marry to begin with before even having sex? Should marriage be purely for reproduction and everyone else merely have civil unions? These are all questions that ultimately rest on some principle and knowing what you stand for is important. But so few of us put any thought into these questions unless and until they become part of our tribe’s political agenda.

Here’s another question. How do you know what is a principle and what is merely the absence of it? Because some might say their principle is to “just leave people alone and let them do whatever the hell they want and deal with the consequences themselves. ” But this is the absence of principles. Because a principle is ultimately a very specific rule or constraint that renders a very specific and predictable outcome. And in the absence of these I’ve found that humans become the most terrible creatures. Just imagine this. Imagine two college dorms. They are both exactly the same except for they differ in this one rule: One of them allows boys and girls to be in the same room and the other one strictly forbids it. Over the course of five years, do you expect there would be different outcomes? Just imagine if a couple lived together in the same room and halfway through the term they broke up. Do you think this could cause distress and have negative impacts on their academic performance? And let’s say there is no roomcesting going on, let’s pretend boys and girls live in the same house as friends. If the girls don’t create boundaries (like asking boys to knock on their door before entering) do you think the boys will ultimately gravitate toward just opening doors without knocking? What about boundaries on using the bathroom? What about human contact? If people don’t have boundaries there, don’t you think that over time people will give themselves permission to hug you? Or barge into your room early one morning to wake you up for the morning group exam?  Without any boundaries, people act on impulse and rarely think things through or take other people’s feelings into consideration before acting.

Principles or the absence of them have profound impacts on society at every level. It might be time to start putting some thought into this and figuring out what you really stand for. It will be the only thing that grounds you through life. Without principles we will become monsters. Or we will beg the government to lock us up and take all our freedoms away until we find joy and happiness in debt-free slavery, that place we all came from, not so long ago.


I vote for freedom.


The secret to a long lasting marriage is synergy

I’ve learned the hard way that the death and cancer for any relationship, be it romantic, professional or otherwise, is resentment. It’s often something that arises quietly and without you noticing it … until it’s too late.

It seems some of us struggle with being Continue reading “The secret to a long lasting marriage is synergy”