Thoughts and emotions are invisible living organisms that live in symbiosis with one another. A feeling wishes to live and grow, so it feeds off those thoughts that enable it to blossom. And thoughts seek to live also so they organizes and codify themselves to be passed on to others and prey on their emotions in order to plant their seeds in their mind. And thus, thoughts and emotions spread from one mind to another and from one generation to the next.

Alongside borderline disorder

Borderline, dissociative identity disorder, split personality disorder ….. many of these are labels used to describe different flavors of mental illness. I’ve concluded through the analysis below that “illness” and “disorder” are erroneous words to be using when dealing with these mental patterns found among humans. They are also counterproductive and dis-empower the one suffering from these conditions, often only to place that power in the hands of a medically licensed drug dealer (psychiatrist).

At first glance, it would seem that most of these mental issues have their root in childhood trauma. But I believe the trauma is often created by the condition itself (self-inflicted or self-manifested). My observation is that the brain of these individuals is suffering from a developmental problem caused (most likely) by lack of proper nutrition at an early age (or even during pregnancy). Perhaps even poor quality breast milk by a mother that didn’t have, herself, good eating habits (or un-timely drug habits).  The child may have also been starved of love and attention (known to even cause death in some infants) or perhaps just a condition that was inherited genetically or epigenetically triggered by these environmental conditions. It seems, despite the ample access we have to food in the West, that people are still unable to eat properly (or at the very least they insist on consuming some kind of poison as part of their diet). You need only look at the rates of obesity to know that even those whom aren’t obese are probably still eating like shit, but just happen to have unusually strong metabolisms or natural resistance to the poisons and artificial sweeteners in our foods.

By “developmental problem” I mean a part of the brain that is not fully developed, or perhaps even missing. Not necessarily a physical chunk of the brain, but a more subtle ability to release proper doses of hormones, chemicals or simply the inability to regulate the transfer of electrical signals. My observation doesn’t come from any specialized equipment or personal expertise in the subject. They come merely from closely observing individuals that suffer from these conditions. So take everything I say here with a grain of salt.

The symptoms of the disorder are therefore the brain’s attempt to compensate for the absence of these chemicals. It’s quite ingenious. These conditions show us just how capable (and elastic) the brain can be. It’s almost like someone being born without a leg, but still developing the ability to locomote with ease from point A to point B by cleverly engaging with the environment and compensating by developing their other limbs to do so. The compensation, in this instance, is the brain making use of the environment to artificially produce the releasing of those chemicals or electrical signals the brain is so starved of. In other words, the room, the house, the family, the lover, are now all components of the patient’s brain. And he or she will use these things to make up for the absence of the brain’s ability to stay in equilibrium. A patient might call it fear of abandonment, but this story, is merely one such crutch (or tool) used by the brain to manufacture what it needs in order to stay chemically balanced (or charged). In fact, the patient is likely to pursue relationships where abandonment is the most likely or only possible outcome in order to reinforce the only tool it has in order to release the proper signals.

This form of manipulation is devastating for the one suffering from the condition because it means they are bound to destroy their relationships because every person that lives or loves an individual suffering from these conditions will ultimately feel emotionally abused and will have no choice but to leave them. The good news is that there is hope. To solve this the patient and the one helping the patient must work together to outsource the task (that of the brain using the environment to compensate for its disability). But even before this happens both the patient and the care-giver must be made aware of what is actually going on. Shining a light on the problem may be all it takes sometimes or at the very least makes it easier to cope with (for both people).

Furthermore, we must discard words such as “disorder” or “illness.” The patient suffers from neither. Instead of a personality disorder, think of it as just a personality type.  For instance, someone that procrastinates you wouldn’t refer to as having a procrastination personality disorder. Or one that tends to make a lot of money by stealing, you wouldn’t call them as having a theft or greedy personality disorder. No, these are not disorders, these are weaknesses of character and personality and like all weaknesses of character, it is completely within the realm of control for the one inflicted by them to, themselves, be responsible for overcoming these imbalances.

Unfortunately given that drug companies are more familiar with laws and regulations than they are with the human body – if you are currently consuming one of their products (such as Zoloft) – you are more likely to be giving yourself another disability in the process. Because any time you artificially supply the body with an ingredient that it is supposed to produce naturally, you only further cripple your body’s ability to do so and render yourself dependent on the drug. This will lead to ACTUAL disorders and cause even more problems for you down the road (sudden electrical shocks and the like) when you try weening yourself off them (not to mention the suicidal tendencies you will exhibit while you’re on them). Pharmaceutical scientists (and the ones responsible for creating these terrible products) isolate themselves in labs with electronic microscopes and computers spending time solving chemistry equations and testing reactions rather than spending much time at all interacting with real human beings suffering form the conditions they are attempting to heal. This makes them far more likely to gain insights on how to create a chemical reaction than understanding holistically what’s really going on with the body.

So to summarize. You aren’t suffering from a personality disorder, you simply have a shitty personality type that you either inherited genetically or epigenetically (genetically triggered by your environment). The good news, is that just like any other person suffering from bad personality habits, you can change these and grow out of these through your own hard work and personal growth in self-awareness.  Chances are, in fact, that if you can overcome these problems you will have one of the best personalities out there. Because as far as I can tell, individuals that suffer from these weaknesses are also individuals that are very vibrant, colorful and richly multifaceted.   Just do the hard work of scraping off the barnacles that have grown on your ship and wipe off the dross from the windows. You’ll sail smoother and see clearly. You can do this!

Emotional Bargaining & Master Vampires

Any relationship that is bound to become toxic or has already become so, is one where there is an unspoken or spoken power imbalance (or struggle). This is often characterized by one or both members seeing themselves as someone whom is being inflicted upon, taken advantage of or one deliberately trying to capitalize and extract something from the other. For instance, a provider may toil and struggle to make a living for his or her family and feel taken advantage of by a wife or partner that is not playing their part. And by “their part” we could be referring to them either toiling and working equally hard to provide resource for the family or even being an effective and hard working home-maker. Or imagine a home-maker that feels entitled to deriving benefit from their provider yet doing as little as possible around the house in order to extract as much benefit with as little output on their part. These are often referred to as energy vampires. In both these instances we see a power struggle at hand. I’m warning you… such a relationship is bound to dissolve and you best not involve yourself with such a person. It’s a waste of your time and energy. Here’s why:

If you read my post the secret to a long lasting marriage you’ll see me dive deeper into this topic so I won’t reiterate those points. What this post is attempting to contribute is an insight into emotional bargaining. It’s a form of manipulation used by those vampires among you that render your contributions invalid. A method, if you will, by which a member of such a partnership (be it in marriage or otherwise) can fool their partner into seeing them as the victim even though they clearly are, themselves, the oppressor. For instance, if one partner is working hard while the other is slacking and simply being a deadbeat leech and sponge, the leech could look at the provider/host and state: “Hey, so you know those things you work so hard to provide me? Well, they don’t really matter to me. I’d gladly live without them.” What this does, is it puts in the provider, the idea that all their hard work is meaningless and therefore, attempts to convince them that even though they are providing far more than their share, that they are still not providing them nearly enough (for the vampire). When your partner starts making statements like these, you know you are in the presence of a master vampire. Most vampires just extract resource from a host, but a master vampire is one that knows how to convince the host that what they are providing is of no real value and therefore artificially convinces them that there is no real imbalance at hand.

Run away from such people. They view people like a car views a pit stop. You’ll just be a “fix” for an addict and only serve to enable their condition. Run! For your sake and theirs.


The Nature of Consciousness

The greatest trick the mind learned how to play was to wander in wonder. For you see, despite its immobility and complete imprisonment, it too sought to be free from its shackles and now roams freely in the realm of its own fancy. You must at once tame the damn thing. For it has the endless curiosity of an infant and the wandering bliss of a child. Discipline your mind such that you are in control of it lest you lose it.

To be clear: Mind is not to be confused with Continue reading “Consciousness”