When pursuing personal growth most individuals involve themselves with symptoms and therefore go around in circles never improving themselves. If you’d truly like to pursue personal growth you will first need to identify all of your compulsive behaviors. These may be physical and psychological. Once you’ve identified these and are able to get them under your control, all of the other issues you’ve been trying to address in yourself will go away.
Compulsive behaviors may include simple things like the way you talk to people or the way you listen and respond. Compulsive behaviors could also include how you engage with food, drugs or anything you consume. Compulsive behaviors may even encompass how you engage romantically with a partner or platonically with friends. Compulsive actions are woven into all aspects of your life, you just need to take a step back and see where it is that you are acting without deliberate will of your own and prune these habits from your system.
On a deeper level it may help to combat your compulsivity by understanding that the source of these actions is unresolved trauma. We all have experienced trauma, from moments like exiting our mother’s birth canal to simply being left alone just a minute too long in our crib. All these moments of pain tend to scar us. And so our psyche is largely built on a lattice of emotional scars and our compulsive actions are our way of ignoring they are there.
It’s time to realize you are no longer being hurt and are free to make your choices for your own self with your own will and not the will of another.