The Nature of Pair Bonding

Good and generous women will often pick terrible and conniving men and incredibly nice and loving men will often pick bitter and destructive women.

There is no point in denying the fact that this is a true and very real phenomena of the pair bonding experience. It’s a phenomena extensively observed by the time most have reached adulthood. And it’s termed a phenomena because each pair of opposites does not go out consciously knowing what it is they are doing.

The good woman really believes the man she is joining with is a great and righteous person. And likewise, the nice and loving man really believes the woman he has found himself with is incredible and worthy of worship. It’s only over time that the love blinders come off and each sees the person they are with more clearly.

What has happened is that each of the good individuals have Continue reading “The Nature of Pair Bonding”

Sexuality

If your female partner has absolutely no desire to engage sexually with you it’s because she has no desire to feel loved by you.   And if your female partner has an extreme desire to engage with you sexually it’s because she desires to feel loved by you and not because she has sexual cravings.  The sexual craving for orgasm is by and large a phenomena unique to male sexuality.  And thus, while men are titillated by a woman just for being a woman, women are titillated by men just for being men.   A man wants to climax while a woman wants to see a man she admires and respects climax and for herself to be the cause of it.  This is the nature of male and female sexuality in its rawest form.

Lovers

Psychopathic lovers want you to believe they love you despite caring little for your own needs.

Parasitic lovers just want you to love them back so they can extract resource from you.

Typical lovers just want to love you and wish you knew how much they did.

Healthy lovers want to love you as long as you are loving them back equally.

True lovers place no demands on each other because they are already everything each other needs. They consume each other fully and vanish into one another.Therefore, the true lover doesn’t really exist. He disappears into his beloved and his beloved into him.

Daughters

A depressed and morbid sense of self-worth for an attractive woman can lead to an addiction to approval.  In such a woman, even when married, she will present herself as readily available to men that pursue her.  Even willing to sleep with and satisfy men sexually that she cares little for, just for the small dose of validation she gets from their pleasure.   Even prostitutes value themselves more than such a woman, for they at least impose a fee for such a service.  But still, it is not the life of a prostitute that causes a beautiful woman to be depressed and battered. It is the life of a depressed and battered beautiful woman that leads her into a life of prostitution.  Remember that girls haven’t the natural ability that men have developed through natural selection to forget trauma.  Take special care, then, with how you raise your daughters.

Victim

Those whom were victims resist speaking of their stories, for they are so joyful to be free from their shackles that they have no intention of wasting time and energy ruminating over a past they are now free from.

Those, however, whom freely and with eagerness share their victim story are likely to be psychopaths wanting to capitalize on the empathy of their listener to lure them in for their own selfish gain.

Be attentive, then, for the real victims are among you, but are quietly carrying with their lives so as to not be a burden to others. Be loving to them, instead.

Toxic Relationships

Relationships between couples can sour or become toxic for many reasons.  And unfortunately toxicity is preventable but rarely ever curable.

At a fundamental level I believe a healthy relationship is one  where you each practice and perfect the art of pleasing the other. A toxic one is where one or both of you derive satisfaction from seeing the other suffer. Because when your partner wants you to suffer, then if you do your part in wanting to please your partner, you must then allow yourself to suffer so they are pleased with themselves. But this is horribly toxic because the very thing you are supposed to do for a good relationship is the same thing that is damaging it.

I think the best way to prevent yourself from getting into a relationship with someone like this is to force yourselves to have conversations on subjects you have vehement disagreements on. Maybe even play house and go out to do pretend-house-shopping.  Do this during the courting season in your relationship. When you’ve been dating long enough to then be asking each other if marriage is the next step, be sure to put yourself through this. Ideally you will witness in your partner an openness to your views and you will have the same openness to his. If you are both made of equally softened clay, you will be able to grow together as a couple.  If one is stone and the other is soft as butter, the stone will never change shape, trust me.

If it is too late and you’re already married with children, you’ll want to make yourself aware of the manipulation games they are playing and not participate. Instead of responding, stay silent and let their foul statements echo in their own head. When you get around to responding, be sure to not be retaliatory. That’s exactly what they want; to use your response as a source of energy and empower the toxicity they want to bring to the relationship. So instead, you need to remain unaffected and not allow yourself to get involved in their own emotional turmoil. “Misery loves company” the saying goes. So if your partner has a poison in their soul, they will do everything they can go contaminate you with it. This is all subconscious and fundamentally something they can only solve through their own spiritual discipline. You can’t fix it, but you must at least not feed into it.

So like a pond that doesn’t show a lump when a stone is dropped in it. You need to let your soul be fluid, move out of the way and let the ripples gracefully play themselves out and fade to nothingness.

Yes, this individual will be a great challenge to you, but you’ll grow immensely because of it.  If you don’t have kids, however, it’s worthwhile considering getting out of such a relationship.  And if you enjoy the suffering, then you’ve become toxic to your own self and that might be why you’ve brought someone like this into your life.

Unrequited

If she is depressed and he comes to her aid, bringing her afloat and even saving her from self-annihilation; then chances are he truly loves and needs her. If, on the other hand, he is down, depressed and dejected and this makes her feel angry at him, perhaps even threatened to the point of finding herself in retreat and looking for another man to bring her comfort; then chances are he is merely a place-holder and easily replaceable for her.