When I heard her speak I was intimately reminded of the troubled mind I had as a teen. A profound desire and longing to feel “othered” .. a feeling that could only be satiated by a sense of belonging to a fringe spiritual denomination that welcomed me and reveled in its otherness and sense of injustice. Once the spell of victimhood was broken, like breaking into a cold sweat after a fever, the mental gymnast I had in my mind was crippled. The cold chill of reality hit me like being thrown naked into a cold rock-laden river. It was only then, in this naked state and actual loneliness, that I was able to begin my journey of discovery through this beautiful creation we are blessed to be a part of.
The most tragic and ironic thing in all this, is now finding myself surrounded by people with blindfolds on. If only I could tear down their veils, but I’m afraid this is a task that is incumbent on each one of us to bear. Thankfully, I have the beauty I now plainly see in all things to be my companion.
If I love a one for their narcissism and I dislike another for their narcissism then it must be said that I am yet unaware of what it is I actually like about the one and dislike about the other. Furthermore if I truly did make such a statement while sober, it must be said then also that narcissism on it’s own must be neither good nor bad. Perhaps, then, it is not the narcissist that we like and dislike but rather, perhaps, the genuine and disingenuous that we find at odds with each other. A genuine narcissist is always pleasing, whereas the disingenuous narcissist is merely a falsehood incarnate. Therefore we can arrive to the conclusion that in the end, as it is in all things, Truth is what is near and dear to our hearts, no matter the form it takes. And falsehood or deception that which we abhor and hold in great disdain.
The state wants you to feel the victim and for them to be your savior.
Whether you feel victimized by your economic status, your race, sex or orientation, the state thrives on your victimhood.
When you come to it asking for more, It gladly gives you what you want but then takes something else of more value. Those that think something can be given without something else being taken, are like sheep being sheared while sleeping that upon waking the following morning, see it fit to blame the weather for the sudden chill.
When the sheep then turns to the state asking them to do something about it, the state provides a heated enclosure.
When the sheep dislikes the darkness, the state provides a window facing the wolves.
When the sheep fears for its safety, the state provides the lock but keeps the key.
Finally when the sheep notices the others being taken away to the slaughterhouse, it asks for its freedoms back but the state says “NO!”
It is only when taking its final steps toward the butcher that the sheep notices the sheers mounted on the wall and upon taking its final breath she remembers that the chill was not that bad after all.
As the mantel of darkness falls over people’s heads.
Their light fades and their mouths are silenced.
Possessed dogs behave as mouthpieces.
Barking at any signs of light abiding.
The quadrupeds drool and growl.
As bipeds give empty glare.
I walk among them.
They are dead.
Hey pssst! (I whisper in his ear)… it’s ok to speak up.
It’s ok to say something unpopular (I continue whispering) … …go ahead, try it (he continues to ignore me).
Don’t ignore me! (I get in front of him) Ignore the voices planted in your mind telling you to shut up. Ignore the voices planted in your mind telling you to lay low. Ignore the voices planted in your mind telling you to abase yourself. Ignore the voices planted in your mind telling you to subject yourself, and to retreat, to be blind, to give in and give way. Ignore the voice telling you to prostrate before demons exchanging hate and fear for the currency of your soul! Can’t you see?!
RISE on all ten toes.
TAKE with all ten fingers
SPEAK with your manifold tongue betwixt between thought and matter!
(I shake him by the shoulders but he turns and walks away in silence)
Youth, like sand, slips away, one grain at a time through your fingers. It might appear as if nothing were changing, but one day, when you approach your fourth decade, you will feel that last grain escape between them. And all that will be left are the dry imprints age has left in your palm. Your hands begin to feel distant and clumsy, your thoughts, faint. Your ankles and knees remind you not to continue leaping up the stairwell and your memory fails to remind you why you scaled them in the first place. But there is nothing to fear good friend. It is merely a reminder to put what is left of your time to good use. You may have still another three decades of good health and strength. So carry on. Your best work is yet to come, for a bare hand is an able one.
And then she told me: “no, no, you weren’t late to the party, your arrival just put a damper on it”.
“Pupils!” He exclaimed. “Behold the talented fool, for with all his might, risking everything he has and owns, attempts to put his talents to good use. But he avails not, for he plants the seeds he buys into paved concrete roads. Laugh at him, the poor thing, for at least then he will bring us humor. Should he seek the good soil, however, only then might his reward be reaped”.
She looked at him and said: “Richard, I fell in love with you because I was ignorant. But I married you because I was smart. What I do now with my wisdom and stupidity is beyond me.”
We’ve drifted apart, you and I. We used to be like planets revolving around the sun but now I am like the moon, revolving around your orbit. Sure, I may go wherever you go but I am no more than a lonely satellite with a heart that’s been turned to stone.